From:           Kathy Cloninger, National CEO

Subject:        White House Council on Women and Girls

Date:           March 12, 2009

Yesterday, President Obama signed an Executive Order to create the White House Council on Women and Girls to establish a coordinated federal response to issues that particularly impact the lives of women and girls. The Council will ensure that federal programs and policies address the distinctive concerns of women and girls, and reach out to nonprofit organizations and other agencies and officials that can assist with the Council’s development..

At the signing, President Obama said: “So now it’s up to us … to ensure that our daughters and granddaughters have no limits on their dreams, no obstacles to their achievements — and that they have opportunities their mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers never dreamed of.  That’s the purpose of this Council.”  

Girl Scouts is very excited about the Council and was pleased to be present at the President’s announcement yesterday; in fact, we are a founding mother. While the proposal to the White House for a council on women came from a group of 40 women’s organizations, Girl Scouts of the USA proposed a commission on girls. The Council is a combination of both ideas. It is our expectation to work closely with key players in the Council and the White House. In that spirit, tomorrow we are having a conference call with Valerie Jarrett, Chair of the Council, and the Council’s Executive Director. 

I have attached the Executive Order the President signed as well as the remarks he made, which are pasted below. If you have any thoughts about this Council, please contact Laurie A. Westley, Senior Vice President, Public Policy, Advocacy and the Research Institute at LWestley@girlscouts.org.

THE WHITE HOUSE

Office of the Press Secretary

For Immediate Release                                                          March 11, 2009

REMARKS BY THE PRESIDENT

AT SIGNING OF EXECUTIVE ORDER

CREATING THE WHITE HOUSE COUNCIL ON WOMEN AND GIRLS

East Room

1:31 P.M. EDT

THE PRESIDENT:  Thank you so much.  Well, today, as we continue our celebration of International Women’s History Month, I’m proud to sign this executive order establishing the women’s — the White House Council on Women and Girls.  It’s a Council with a mission that dates back to our founding:  to fulfill the promise of our democracy for all our people. 

I sign this order not just as a President, but as a son, a grandson, a husband, and a father, because growing up, I saw my mother put herself through school and follow her passion for helping others.  But I also saw how she struggled to raise me and my sister on her own, worrying about how she’d pay the bills and educate herself and provide for us.

I saw my grandmother work her way up to become one of the first women bank vice presidents in the state of Hawaii, but I also saw how she hit a glass ceiling — how men no more qualified than she was kept moving up the corporate ladder ahead of her.

I’ve seen Michelle, the rock of the Obama family — (laughter) — juggling work and parenting with more skill and grace than anybody that I know.  But I also saw how it tore at her at times, how sometimes when she was with the girls she was worrying about work, and when she was at work she was worrying about the girls.  It’s a feeling that I share every day.

In so many ways, the stories of the women in my life reflect the broader story of women in this country — a story of both unyielding progress and also untapped potential.

Today, women make up a growing share of our workforce and the majority of students in our colleges and our law schools.  Women are breaking barriers in every field, from science and business to athletics and the Armed Forces.  Women are serving at the highest levels of my administration.  And we have Madam Speaker presiding over our House of Representatives.  (Applause.)  I had the privilege of participating in a historic campaign with a historic candidate, who we now have the privilege of calling Madam Secretary. 

But at the same time, when women still earn just 78 cents for every dollar men make; when one in four women still experiences domestic violence in their lifetimes; when women are more than half of our population, but just 17 percent of our Congress; when women are 49 percent of the workforce, but only 3 percent of our Fortune 500 CEOs — when these inequalities stubbornly persist in this country, in this century, then I think we need to ask ourselves some hard questions.  I think we need to take a hard look at where we’re falling short, and who we’re leaving out, and what that means for the prosperity and the vitality of our nation.

And I want to be very clear:  These issues are not just women’s issues.  When women make less than men for the same work, it hurts families who find themselves with less income, and have to work harder just to get by.  When a job doesn’t offer family leave, that also hurts men who want to help care for a new baby or an ailing parent.  When there’s no affordable child care, that hurts children who wind up in second-rate care, or spending afternoons alone in front of the television set.

And when any of our citizens cannot fulfill their potential because of factors that have nothing to do with their talent, their character, their work ethic, that says something about the state of our democracy.  It says something about whether we’re honoring those words put on paper more than two centuries ago — whether we’re doing our part, like generations before us, to breathe new life into them in our time. 

That, above all, is the true purpose of our government.  Not to guarantee our success, but to ensure that in America, all things are still possible for all people.  Not to solve all our problems, but to ensure that we all have the chance to pursue our own version of happiness.  To give our daughters the chance to achieve as greatly as the women who join us today.  That’s the impact our government can have.

It’s the impact of a Health and Human Services Department that funds research by women like Dr. Nina Fedoroff, a biotechnology and life science pioneer — (applause) — who won the National Medal of Science in 2006.  It’s the impact of a Defense Department that works to recruit and promote women — women, so that women like Sergeant Major Michele Jones, who was the Army’s highest ranking enlisted woman before she retired, can strengthen our military with their leadership.  (Applause.) 

It’s the impact of a Department of Education that enforces Title IX, so athletes like — (applause) — so athletes like Olympic gold medalist Dominique Dawes and Lisa Leslie — (applause) — have a level playing field to compete and to win.  It’s the impact of a White House and a Congress that fight for legislation like the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act, so that all women can get paid what they deserve.  (Applause.)  I’m very proud this was the very first bill that I signed into law. 

And that’s why I’m establishing this Council — not just to continue efforts like these, but to enhance them.  The Council will be composed of the heads of every Cabinet and Cabinet-level agency, and will meet on a regular basis.  We have many of those Cabinet members here.  Some of the men showed up — we put them in the second row.  (Laughter.)  But they’re going to be fighting — (applause) — they’re going to be part of this Council, and it’s going to meet on a regular basis. 

Its purpose is very simple:  to ensure that each of the agencies in which they’re charged takes into account the needs of women and girls in the policies they draft, the programs they create, the legislation they support.  It’s not enough to only have individual women’s offices at individual agencies, or only have one office in the White House.  Rather, as former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright once said, in our government, “¼responsibility for the advancement of women is not the job of any one agency, it’s the job of all of them.”  (Applause.)  And she should know — she helped lead an interagency women’s initiative during the Clinton administration. 

At the same time, given the critical importance of its work, this Council must have strong leadership from the White House, and direct accountability to me.  And that’s why I’m appointing Valerie Jarrett, one of my closest advisors and most senior members of my administration, to lead it.  Tina Tchen, another senior member of my White House staff, will serve as the Council’s Executive Director.

In the end, while many of the challenges women and girls face are new, the work of this Council is not — it’s been with us for generations.  Frances Perkins, who was President Franklin Roosevelt’s Secretary of Labor, and the first woman to serve in the Cabinet — a great hero of the New Deal — described it well when she said, “¼I had a kind of duty to other women to walk in and sit down on the chair that was offered, and so establish the rights of others long hence and far distant in geography to sit in the high seats.”  To sit in the high seats.

That is why I’m standing here today, because of what my mother and grandmother did for me, because of their hard work and sacrifice and unflagging love.  That’s what Michelle is doing right now, thinking every day about making sure that Malia and Sasha have the same opportunities as anybody’s sons do.  That’s why so many of us are here today, because of the women who came before us, who were determined to see us sit in the high seats:  women who reached for the ballot, and raised families, and traveled long, lonely roads to be the first in the boardroom or in the courtroom or on the battlefield and in the factory floor; women who cracked and shattered those glass ceilings, so that my daughters — and all of our sons and daughters — could dream a little bigger and reach a little higher.

So now it’s up to us to carry that work forward, to ensure that our daughters and granddaughters have no limits on their dreams, no obstacles to their achievements — and that they have opportunities their mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers never dreamed of.  That’s the purpose of this Council.  Those are the priorities of my presidency.   And I look forward to working with all of you to fulfill them in the months and years to come.

All right, so I’m going to go sign this thing.  Thank you very much..

  <<EO Women and Girls.pdf>> eowomenandgirls

Last year on May 12, 2008, Immigrants Custom Enforcement (ICE) agents arrested 389 people at Agriprocessors, the local kosher meat packing plant in Postville, Iowa. At the time, this was the largest raid in the history of the United States, changing the lives of many in the town and around the nation.

 

This year on May 12, 2009 local congregations, immigrant advocates and community leaders across the country will participate in a Day of Remembrance and Action to mark the first anniversary of the immigration raid in Postville.  People of faith across the nation will ring church bells, hold prayer vigils and wear red ribbons to bear witness to the devastating impacts of raids and join the Postville community in calling for comprehensive immigration reform.

 

There are two key ways that you can participate in these efforts on and around May 12 and amplify the voices of people across the nation commemorating the anniversary of the raid.

1. Invite local media to a May 12 commemoration event happening in your church or community.  There are resources at http://www.networklobby.org/ to help you plan your own community event.  To find out if an event is already planned in your area or for more guidance on planning or media outreach, contact Katrine Herrick at kherrick@networklobby.org.
2. Write a letter-to-the-editor to raise awareness about the tragedy of the raid and about the need for comprehensive immigration reform.  Read below for suggested talking points and tips on writing letters-to-the-editor. 

(After writing your letter and sending it to your local newspaper, please remember to e-mail a copy to Katrine Herrick at kherrick@networklobby.org so we can use your words as we lobby Congress!)

 

The anniversary of the May 12 immigration raid in Postville, Iowa serves as a reminder of how broken our immigration system is.

• Seventy-five percent of the plant’s employees were undocumented workers who lacked protections.  These workers were exploited, underpaid and, in some cases, sexually abused.
• The process for trying detained workers was hasty and unfair.  Translators did not inform workers of their full charges and lawyers had only a few hours to try to help the workers, who were tried in groups at the local cattle fairground.

The raid hurt the Postville community. 

• The plant could not replace all the detained workers and shut down, leaving even more unemployed.
• One-third of the Postville community fled overnight, leaving houses and businesses vacant and fifty empty desks at the local school.
• People still live in fear.  For a week following the raid, traumatized families slept in St. Bridget’s Church, afraid to return to their homes-and that fear has never left.
• While the destruction of the community was government-funded, there is no federal funding to aid in the humanitarian response.  Several workers still await trial, costing the town of Postville nearly $80,000 a month to support them. 

Comprehensive immigration reform is needed to bring workers out of the shadows, keep families together and eliminate the fear and destruction caused by raids. 

• We cannot continue tearing families and towns apart and leaving them to clean up the mess created by our broken immigration system.  
• Comprehensive immigration reform would have kept families and the Postville community together by providing a path for workers to remain employed (and keep paying taxes) and giving them protection to report labor abuses.

Tips for Letters to the Editor

• Be Clear and Concise – Limit your letter to one topic and check your grammar. Most publications prefer 250 words or less. Check for submission requirements.
• Be Current – Responding to a recent article in the newspaper or to an upcoming or very recent event greatly increases your odds of being published.
• Be Compelling – Make sure your lead sentence draws attention. Consider using a personal story or attention-grabbing facts. Always refrain from personal attacks.
• Contact – Include your name, organization address and telephone number. Newspapers will often only publish a letter if they are able to contact the signer to make sure s/he is the author.
• Send a copy to NETWORK!

***

*****

From Mike Burnside & Kathleen Godwin

The Arts SEEN Gallery, a collaboration between The Cultural Council of Luzerne County and Arts YOUniverse, will be open tonight for a preview – a whole new gallery for the Third Friday Art Walk.  Artists have been bringing in an incredibly eclectic collection of art over the last week; passers by have been peering curiously through the windows (right next to Blue Wireless on the Square) and we’re all ready to open the doors!  If you get this in time, listen to WVIA FM for Erika Funke’s Arts Scene today at 11 for the whole story!  There’s also a new show opening reception at Marquis Upstairs Gallery, and the weather is supposed to be fine, so this is a great night to get back into the Downtown Wilkes-Barre Third Friday habit!
On Saturday at 2:45 (just before the big parade), Mayor Tom Leighton will officially open the gallery by cutting the obligatory ribbon, assuming we can find one.  It’s the place to be!

*****

“AN ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE”

By Henrik Ibsen, Adapted by Arthur Miller
November 18, 19, 20, 21 at 7:30 p.m.

KING’S COLLEGE THEATRE

FREE ADMISSION for
King’s Students, Faculty, Staff & Administration

Box Office RESERVATIONS

Call Ext. 5825 or boxoff@kings.edu

Thanks for your continued interest in Theatre at King’s.

Bro. Jim, c.s.c.

*****

The Gaslight Theatre Company Announces Auditions for Brian Friel’s Dancing at Lughnasa   November 7th and 8th.
 
    The Gaslight Theatre company will be holding auditions Saturday November 7th and Sunday November 8th for its January production of Brian Friel’s Dancing at Lughnasa. 
 
     Available roles include:
 
       5 Women ranging in age from 25-45
 
       2 Men early 30’s
 
       1 Man  late 40’s-mid 50’s
 
    Actors will be asked to read from selections of the script  in an Irish Dialect.
 
  Audition Time and Place:
 
    The auditions will be held in the Burke Auditorium in the McGowan School of Business on the King’s College Campus. Located on the corner of River and Union streets in Wilkes-Barre.  The auditions will run from 7:00PM-9:00PM.
 
 Dialect Coaching Sessions
 
    Prior to auditions there will be two dialect coaching sessions offered to anyone interested in auditioning. These sessions will be held on Wed November 4th and Thursday November 5th from 6:00PM-8:00PM at Paper Kite Press in Edwardsville.
Dialect coaching will also be offered an hour before each audition time at the audition sight.
 
Production Dates
 
 The production dates for Dancing at Lughnasa are Tuesday Jan 5th – Sunday Jan 10th 2010. The production will be held at King’s College.
 
Questions/Directions
 
   For any questions regarding this production or for directions to the audition sight or the coaching session sight please call Sean McKeown at (570)762-1033
 
Thank You
 
The Gaslight Theatre Company, Inc,

narrowlarry in Oklahoma

Link up above for the superb world of narrowlarry.

Subject: Moreau Lecture: November 4 at 3:30 & 7:30

Dear Colleagues,

In a few weeks, I will make a formal announcement about this year’s Moreau Lecture.  However, I thought it might be helpful, if you are still pulling your syllabi together, to let you know something about this year’s lecturer, in case it might nicely overlap with your course.

The 2009-2010 Moreau Lecturer is the Margaret Flatley O’Brien Professor of Catholic Theology at Boston College, Roberto Goizueta.  We are privileged to have Professor Goizueta, who has served as president of the Catholic Theological Society of America as well as the Academic Catholic Hispanic Theologians of the United States.

The date is Wednesday, November 4, at 3:30 & 7:30pm in the Burke Auditorium.  Professor Goizueta will address theological and ecclesial matters of immigration.  His lectures will complement a few events in the coming semester related to this very topic.

As is the tradition with the Moreau Lecture, Professor Goizueta will deliver two lectures.  They are as follows:
        3:30pm “Christ on the Border: Retrieving a Dangerous Memory”
       
        7:30pm “Life Comes for the Archbishop: The Immigrant as Evangelizer”

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,
Dan

Rev. Daniel J. Issing, C.S.C.
Assistant Professor of Theology
King’s College
Wilkes-Barre PA 18711
570-208-5900 ext. 5491

*****

Featured Poet Esteban Charpentier
from Buenos Aires, Argentina

esteban

Esteban Charpentier’s work includes several anthologies of poetry and 
many of his poems have been translated into English, French, Italian, 
German and Chinese. His collections include “memoirs Workshop” (1986), 
“Another Moon” (1991),”The rider gallops your laughter” (1997), “Dear 
Poets’ Tribute to the poets of Spain” (1998), “Final Poetic “(1999), 
“I was asking the heart” (2001), “Me Alejo Charpentier (2003), 
“Marinero Bengalí” (2008), and “I may not be a husband but I drive my 
own car” (2009). He participates in numerous poetry and literary 
activities, and is host of the radio
program “DENSERIO” RADIO 97.9 FM.

Paper Kite Press
443 Main Street
Kingston, PA 18704
570-328-8658   

http://www.wordpainting.com

 __________________________________
(From our friends at Stage whispers:

http://www.stagewhispers.net/

Listed by theatres in alphabetical order – season dates vary, so be sure to check them out!)

 Actors Circle

Chenango River Theatre

Cortland Repertory Theatre

Electric Theatre Company

Glimmerglass Opera

Gretna Theatre

Hangar Theatre

Know Theatre

Little Theatre of Wilkes-Barre

Little Victory Players

Sullivan County Dramatic Workshop

Ti-Ahwaga Community Players

Volunteers of America to honor Soper and Shafer at 6th Annual Celebrity Dinner 

Volunteers of America will be holding its 6th Annual Celebrity Dinner on Monday, May 11th at Genetti’s Best Western in Wilkes-Barre.

The dinner will feature guest speaker, former Notre Dame All-American and Washington Redskins great Joe Theismann.
Theismann was the runner-up for the Heismann Trophy in 1970, led the Redskins to a victory in Super Bowl XVII
and was the NFL MVP in 1983.

Volunteers of America will be honoring Bobby Soper, President/CEO of Mohegan Sun and
Catherine Shafer, President of CDS Creative with the organization’s “Spirit of Youth” award.

The event will begin at 6:00 pm with a silent auction of sports memorabilia including many
unique Notre Dame and Washington Redskin items.

Tickers are $100/adult and $50/students.

RSVP by calling 825-5261 by May 6th.

**********

Congratulations, Margarita, on presiding over such a fine celebration last evening.  It really honored the migrant education program and was fun  and  a delicious feast at the same time!  Rod, your benediction left us with a blessing.  I assume M. and Bob sponsored the Center ad again – many thanks.  Once again, it made me proud to be associated with the Peace and Justice Center!

My first  ESL teaching job was with migrant workers in Sweet Valley.  What a memorable experience.  I had answered a newspaper ad to be the assistant but they didn’t have any takers so they let me teach.  While I did survival English with the workers, Wally and Martha – still in high school but good in math – came with me and tutored high school kids in math.   My family always commented on their beauty and intelligence and felt so bad that those students left school early in Texas and arrived after the next school year began; understood why they would just drop out. 

So I was especially glad to hear of the fine program and all the staffers and volunteers now working with these kids.  Being honored by the Ethics Institute gives credibility to the program.  Margarita, I enjoyed sitting next to Frances and getting to know her a bit better than just at the Death Penalty group.  She appreciated your inviting her to be your guest.

Best to all,  Bev

Hi all:

Lackawanna and Luzerne County are presently working on developing a join Comprehensive Plan for both counties. 

There have been several stakeholder meetings with February and the following attachment (email) announce several public meetings coming up this week that begin to present some of the initial data collected and plan alternatives.   

Please try to attend one of the public meetings and provide input into very important planning process that will hopefully guide the growth of both counties in the future.

Public Information Meetings

For your information, Lackawanna County and Luzerne County planning officials will hold a series of Public Information Meetings regarding the two-county Comprehensive Plan, Long Range Transportation Plan and Hazard Mitigation Plan.  The Counties are in the process of preparing plans to help establish a positive future for the region. We want to include you in the planning process.

www.lackawanna-luzerneplans.com

Elements of the Plans include:

* Land Use

* Housing

* Transportation

* Community Facilities

* Utilities

* Natural, Historic & Cultural Resources

* Mineral Resources

* Agricultural Land

* Water Supply

The meetings will be held at the following locations:

·                     Tuesday, October 14

Luzerne County Community College

Education Conference Center – Room 132

1333 South Prospect Street

Nanticoke, PA 18634

·                     Wednesday, October 15

Hazleton Area High School

1601 West 23rd Street

Hazleton, PA 18202

·                     Thursday, October 16

Lackawanna County EMA

30 Valley View Business Park

Jessup, PA 18434

·                     Times:

6 p.m. - Open House Mapping Displays

7 p.m. - Presentation

8 p.m. - Questions and Discussion

Comprehensive Plan – The Comprehensive Plan will serve as an overall planning guide for the counties and their municipalities. It will establish a framework for future growth, conservation and preservation that strengthens our existing communities and responsibly stewards our natural, agricultural and cultural resources.

Long Range Transportation Plan – The purpose of this plan is to develop, maintain, and manage an adequate, safe, accessible, and environmentally-sound transportation system. This transportation system will support our communities and provide for the reasonably efficient movement of people and goods within and through the counties.

Hazard Mitigation Plan – This plan will evaluate the potential for natural or technological hazards and determine an approach to manage those hazards.

A copy of the meeting announcement is attached to this e-mail. Please forward this information to interested friends and colleagues. All are welcome.

For more information, please visit our website:

www.lackawanna-luzerneplans.com

You may also contact Mr. Harry Lindsay, Executive Director of the Lackawanna County Regional Planning Commission at (570) 963-6400, or Mr. Adrian Merolli, Executive Director of the Luzerne County Planning Commission at (570) 825-1560.

Regards,

John F. Mullen, AICP

Planning Team Consultant
McCormick Taylor, Inc.
Two Commerce Square
2001 Market Street, 10th Floor
Philadelphia, PA 19103

Phone:   215-592-4200
Fax:      215-574-3657
Web:     www.mccormicktaylor.com

***

“REMEMBERING  THE  SUSQUEHANNA  RIVER  SPIRITS. . . . “

 job opportunity »

Employment at King’s College

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PLEASE POST

Inter Agency Notice of Position Opening

CATHOLIC SOCIAL SERVICES
516 FIG STREET
SCRANTON, PA  18505

Relief Department – Outreach HPRP Caseworker

OPENING DATE: 12/15/09 CLOSING DATE: 12/22/09

Position Description:

This is a full time position working with individuals seeking emergency financial assistance.  Duties of the position include but are not limited to emergency housing assistance; representative payee services; and outreach case management.

Job Requirements:

The applicant must possess a minimum of a Bachelor’s Degree with previous casework experience.  Candidates must have the ability to maintain accurate client records according to federal, state, and local guidelines.  Candidates should have a working knowledge of computers and data entry. 

Catholic Social Services is an Equal Opportunity Employer. Bi-Lingual Skills in English and Spanish is a plus but not required.

DIRECT ALL INQUIRIES TO:  Stephanie Miller
      Supervisor of Community Service
      516 Fig Street
      Scranton, PA  18505
      Email:  smiller@cssscranton.org
***
PLEASE POST

Inter Agency Notice of Position Opening

CATHOLIC SOCIAL SERVICES
516 FIG STREET
SCRANTON, PA  18505

St. Jude’s Tri-County Permanent Supportive Housing Initiative
Program Coordinator/Supervisor Position

OPENING DATE: 12/15/09 CLOSING DATE: 12/22/09

Position Description:

This is a full time position coordinating and supervising a new and innovative case management program.  The purpose of this program is to assist people to transition from temporary to permanent housing and to create supportive service environments for program participants.  The service areas are in Lackawanna, Luzerne, and Monroe Counties.

Job Requirements:

Applicants must possess a Master’s Degree in the Human Services field with at least 3 years post-master’s experience in supervisor or direct service.  PA LCSW/LSW/PC preferred.  Interpersonal, Case Management, Supervisory and Computer Skills are necessary for this position. Job Description is available by request.

Catholic Social Services is an Equal Opportunity Employer. Bi-Lingual Skills in English and Spanish is a plus but not required.

DIRECT ALL INQUIRIES TO:  Tom Beline, ACSW, LCSW
      516 Fig Street
      Scranton, PA  18505
      Email:  tbeline@cssscranton.org
***
PLEASE POST

Inter Agency Notice of Position Opening

CATHOLIC SOCIAL SERVICES
516 FIG STREET
SCRANTON, PA 18505

PERMANENT SUPPORTIVE HOUSING PROGRAM (PSHP) II - LACKAWANNA

OPENING DATE: 12/15/09 CLOSING DATE: 12/22/09

Position Description:

This is a full-time position where the staff person is directly responsible to the PSHP Supervisor of Catholic Social Services of the Diocese of Scranton.  This individual will be responsible for all aspects of the Permanent Supportive Housing Program (PHSP).

The individual will possess a demonstrated commitment to working with homeless individuals and providing social services networking for clients to prevent them from becoming homeless again.  The PSHP Caseworker will follow up with clients on referrals made to improve their situation.  He/She will be familiar with local social services delivery system, local Shelter for homeless individuals, local Housing Authority, and local city and county officials who are dealing with the homeless of the area.

Job Requirements:

The minimum experience and training may be a B.A. or B.S. degree with experience in counseling, conducting needs assessment and working with homeless individuals and/or those with disabilities.

Catholic Social Services is an Equal Opportunity Employer

Starting Salary:    $23,300.00 annually

DIRECT ALL INQUIRIES TO:  Ryan Pollock, PSHP Supervisor
      Catholic Social Services
516 Fig Street
Scranton, PA  18505
Ph:    (570) 207-2283
Fax:   (570) 207-2206
      Email: rpollock@cssresidential.org

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
APHERESIS ACCOUNT REPRESENTATIVE
Full-Time Position

Job Description: Plan and implement effective strategies to recruit and 

retain donors/groups for fixed site collection operations sufficient to 

achieve established blood collection goals and strategies to ensure 

sufficient numbers of specialized donors to meet program needs. 

Develops potential group leads to present and recruit donors for the 

Apheresis programs in both Wilks-Barre, and Scranton.  Provide 

ongoing support to donor groups implementing appropriate special 

donor recruitment programs and providing follow-up record keeping 

and recognition.

Job Requirements:  

High School degree/equivalent required; 

Bachelor’s degree in marketing/sales, communications or related field 

preferred, 

Two years of related experience preferred; 

Direct sales experience preferred, 

Knowledge of group dynamics, point of purchase/customer maintenance 

sales techniques and negotiation skills and ability to effectively implement 

this knowledge base, Excellent written and oral communication skills, 

including training and presentation skills, Must be able to work effectively 

and harmoniously with donors, volunteers and staff, Flexible hours including 

evening and weekend work, Must have a valid driver’s license, 

licensed vehicle and a safe driving record.

Interested parties should forward a resume in Microsoft Word format 

to: bloodhr@usa.redcross.org along with a cover letter indicating the 

position of interest.  

We are an Equal Opportunity Employer Committed to Diversity M/F/D/V.

***

TELERECRUITER I (3 POSITIONS)
Part-Time Position – 20-34 hours/week, Mandatory Sundays

Job Description: In this position you will recruit blood donations from a 

variety of sources including individuals, groups, organizations, businesses, 

churches and schools.  You will be contacting previous, special, or whole 

blood donors to increase the frequency of donations.  

Increase the number of donors at fixed sites or mobile unit blood drives to 

meet the collections goals.  Positively impact the quality of service to donors

and groups, increasing the availability of blood products.  

Coordinate reminder calls, follow-up, logging of data, maintenance of records 

and special projects to achieve established goals.
Maintain accurate records of donors/groups contacted and appointments 

scheduled to avoid errors, poor customer relations and to ensure sufficient 

donor availability. Perform other related duties as necessary.
Job Requirements: 

• Must be a High school graduate or equivalent.

• Exceptional Customer Service or telemarketing experience

• Strong Computer Skills as well as written and verbal communication skills

• Ability to work in a fast paced environment, and work variable hours, 

including evenings and weekends.

• Must be able to recognize problems, determine root cause, initiate and 

implement correction actions.

Interested parties should forward a resume in Microsoft Word 

format to: bloodhr@usa.redcross.org along with a cover letter 

indicating the position of interest.  

We are an Equal Opportunity Employer Committed to Diversity M/F/D/V.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POSITION AVAILABLE
COMMUNITY ORGANIZER
AmeriCorps VISTA VOLUNTEER

Want to help change the lives of kids in downtown Allentown?

The Allentown Youth Success Zone is seeking two (2) 

Community Organizers to provide block-by-block daily personal contact 

with the residents of 9 blocks in Center City/Old Allentown, increase 

resident leadership and community involvement to improve the physical 

neighborhood environment and create a stable and safe environment for 

children and families.

Minimum Requirements:
▪ Spanish Bi-lingual and Bi-cultural, fully proficient in oral and written communications in English and Spanish.
▪ High School graduate. Two or more years of college will be helpful.
▪ Minimum of two years of work experience as an outreach worker or providing direct service to a diverse population.
▪ Proficient on the use of PC software (Word processing, Excel, Internet research) .
▪ Able to manage multiple priorities, with attention to appropriate detail and key organizational principles.
▪ Able to meet goals and objectives with minimal supervision.

Please note that these are AmeriCorps VISTA Volunteers positions. VISTA Volunteers receive:
A modest living allowance. Healthcare benefits and child care assistance.
A $4,725 Education Award or $1,200 post-service stipend and
Student loan forbearance or deferment while in service.
AmeriCorps VISTAs must be able to complete their one-year service commitment. There is the potential to renew your contract for one additional year at the end of your first year. Before applying, please review the stipend and benefits for this position at http://www.AmeriCorps.gov. For additional information please contact AmeriCorps at 1-800-942-2677, or call the Allentown Youth Success Zone at 610-351-4283 for a full job description. EOE
APPLICATIONS MUST BE RECEIVED BY DECEMBER 8, 2009.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
President/CEO

Local organization seeking President/CEO.
Full time, direct hire position. 
Job Responsibilities Include the Following:

GUIDE THE DEVELOPMENT AND IMPLEMENTATION OF THE STRATEGIC/OPERATING PLAN

·         Develop and maintain the vision for the future of the organization

·         Form and actively participate with a volunteer strategic planning committee.

·         Anticipate and communicate with Board and key personnel as appropriate concerning operating and strategic issues affecting the organization

·         Facilitate the development and implementation of a multi-year strategic plan.

·         Ensure that the strategic plan becomes a central factor in the prioritization of the work of the organizationm and the development of an annual operating plan.

ENGAGE AND DEVELOP SKILLED VOLUNTEERS (WORK WITH VOLUNTEERS TO UTILIZE THEIR ASSETS)

·         Assures the continuity of top level volunteers for the organization through cultivation, recruitment and retention of community leadership.

·         Develops succession plans to ensure the continuous high caliber of volunteer leadership for the organization

·         Ensures that key segments of the community are represented on the Board and its committees.

·         Encourages the faithful participation of Board members both at the Board level and in the organization's committees.

REPRESENT THE ORGANIZATION TO THE COMMUNITY

·         Be the focal point for the organization's communications to the media and to the community.

·         Represent the organization to key community groups.

·         Maintain strong positive relations with affiliate agencies, non affiliate agencies, governmental groups and other non profit organizations that impact on the success of the organization

·         Work to enhance the partnership between the organization and its affiliate agencies.

·         Act as an advocate for quality human service provision and meeting the health and human service needs of the community.
Position the organization to be seen as a primary community problem solver.

LEAD AND MANAGE THE ORGANIZATION'S STAFF (MAXIMIZE THE ASSETS AND/OR EFFICIENCY OF THE STAFF)

·         Staff the organization with the individuals who will work to achieve desired results.

·         Organize staff and resources to accomplish the organization's goals.

·         Create a work environment that promotes individual growth and development as well as strong team-work.

·         Develop career development plans for key employees to ensure the continuing success of the organization and to effectively focus staff development and training resources.

·         Hold staff accountable for the accomplishment of the strategic and operating plan.

MANAGE THE ORGANIZATION/IMPROVE THE EFFICIENCY OF THE PROCESS

·         Provide for an atmosphere of continuous improvement and ownership in the successful operation of the organization

·         Work toward the alignment of process and function.

·         Audit the process and functions for effectiveness and efficiency opportunities.

SKILLS NECESSARY

·         Leadership experience

·         Ability to listen and learn from all

·         Genuine respect for the gifts of everyone

·         Exceptional communications skills, both written and verbal

·         Negotiation skills

·         Proven administrative and management skills

·         Experience in the field of human services

·         Fundraising expertise

·         High energy and strategic vision. 

·         Grant writing and Research skills

·         Proven ability to lead diverse groups to consensus

·         Ability to motivate staff, volunteers, agencies and the community.

QUALIFICATION REQUIREMENTS

·         Bachelor's degree from a four year college or university or equivalent combination of education and job experience. Master's degree    preferred.

·         Bilingual in English/Spanish required

·         Minimum five (5)years for profit/non profit professional management experience.

Please contact Gage Personnel

Corporate Office

101 N. 7th Avenue
West Reading, PA 19611
Phone: 610-376-1771
Fax: 610-376-1718

West Reading Resumes
resume@gagepersonnel.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACCOUNT MANAGER
Full-Time Position

Job Description: 

Plan and implement effective strategies to recruit and retain donor groups to sponsor blood mobile
or fixed site collection operations sufficient to achieve established blood collection goals and
strategies to ensure sufficient numbers of specialized donors to meet program needs.

Develops potential group leads, training donor group chairmen in organizational requirements,
providing ongoing support to donor groups and chapters and implementing appropriate special
donor recruitment programs and providing follow-up record keeping and recognition.

Job Requirements:  Candidate must live in Schuylkill or Union Counties. 
High School degree/equivalent required;
Bachelor’s degree in marketing/sales, communications or related field preferred,
Two years of related experience preferred;
Direct sales experience preferred,
Knowledge of group dynamics, point of purchase/customer maintenance sales techniques
and negotiation skills and ability to effectively implement this knowledge base,
Excellent written and oral communication skills, including training and presentation skills,
Must be able to work effectively and harmoniously with donors, volunteers and staff,
Flexible hours with occasional evening and weekend work,

Must have a valid driver’s license, licensed vehicle and a safe driving record.
Interested parties should forward a resume in Microsoft Word format to:
bloodhr@usa.redcross.org along with a cover letter indicating the position of interest. 
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer Committed to Diversity M/F/D/V.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Northeast Blood Division
Northeast Pennsylvania Blood Region

29 New Commerce Rd
Ashley PA 18706
Tel (570) 823-7164
­­Fax (570) 823-9097
www.nepagivvelife.org

 Dear Rod,
 When you're committed to providing relief and hope to millions of people
around the world every day, you need the support of others who share that
dedication and who want to contribute to it. That's why the American Red
Cross has always been there for others, because you are there for us.
As one of the nation's leading nonprofit organizations, we attract talented,
motivated and enthusiastic people who make our mission to save lives a
reality and who experience the greatness of the human spirit at its best.

The Pennsylvania Blood Services Region is currently seeking candidates
to apply for the position(s) attached.  We will consider all qualified
candidates. If you know a candidate that may help us fill this position I
would appreciate it if you direct them to send their resume to
 Bloodhr@usa.redcross.org . 

Our humanitarian mission connects us to people and communities across
the nation and around the world. We are committed to the diversity of our
people, programs and services, and we are proud to be an equal
opportunity employer. The organization acts affirmatively in the
employment and advancement of qualified women, minority group
members, disabled veterans, Vietnam-era veterans, other covered veterans
and those individuals who are physically and/or mentally disabled and
otherwise qualified.

Kind Regards,
Amy M. Merritt
Talent Acquisition Specialist
860-284-7056
merrittam@usa.redcross.org
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

QUALITY MANAGER
Full-Time Position

Job Description: Manages the review, assessment and monitoring activities for records, processes, and systems.
Manages and/or leads problem solving activities or functions in the Quality Assurance (QA) department. 
Mentors, coaches and develops Quality staff. Represents QA and/or leads projects, work groups or multi-functional 
process improvement and standardization teams..

Job Requirements:  Applicants must have experience in a cGMP environment such as blood, plasma, tissue, 
pharmaceutical or medical device firm. Four years of functional experience in QA, Quality Control (QC) or QA Auditing. 
Three years of management experience. Superior verbal and written skills are a must.  
Knowledge of operations in a biologic, pharmaceutical or medical device manufacturing environment is strongly preferred.  
Knowledge of federal regulatory requirements and quality assurance practices/principles related to medical industry 
manufacturing operations; Course and practical experience in a leadership role; must display tact, diplomatic and 
professionalism in difficult situations; must protect the confidentiality of sensitive information in the department; must 
operate as a team member.
Interested parties should forward a resume in Microsoft Word format to: bloodhr@usa.redcross.org along with a 
cover letter indicating the position of interest.  
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer Committed to Diversity M/F/D/V.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PLEASE POST

Inter Agency Notice of Position Opening
Wilkes Barre Office

CATHOLIC SOCIAL SERVICES
33 EAST NORTHAMPTON STREET
WILKES BARRE, PA  18701

Program Assistant

OPENING DATE: 10/21/09 CLOSING DATE: 11/04/09

Position Description:

Full time program assistant position available; Monday through Friday, 8:45am to 5:00pm. 
Duties include, but are not limited to, initial client intake and scheduling, as well as file and office management. 

Job Requirements:

A high school diploma is required; must be experienced in use of a computer, especially Microsoft Office.

Bi-lingual English / Spanish preferred.

Catholic Social Services is an Equal Opportunity Employer. 

Starting Salary: $19,500

DIRECT ALL INQUIRIES TO:
Kelli James
Catholic Social Services
33 East Northampton Street
Wilkes Barre, PA  18701
Fax:  (570) 829-7781
Attached please find our newest Position posting. 
Thank you for distributing!!!

Nurse Technologist(Phlebotomist)

Job Description: Perform automated and whole blood collection activities as assigned. Ensures that blood collection services operations and systems are in accordance with FDA, NHG and departmental policy. Responsible for proactive behaviors to facilitate goal attainment; Require completion of extensive standardized training and demonstration of competency to perform each job function.  Attention to detail is imperative.

Job Requirements:  excellent communications skills, a proven history of providing excellent customer service, good organizational skills and the ability to handle multiple priorities. Knowledge and/or experience in the medical field are a plus. Certification in medical assistant/phlebotomy program with phlebotomist experience preferred. A  High School diploma is required along with a valid PA driver’s license with a good driving record. Bi-lingual skills are highly desirable.

Days/hours/special designations:  Candidate must be able to comply with the demands of irregular hours, flexible assignments and work locations. 40 hours/week.

Interested parties should forward a resume in Microsoft Word format to: bloodhr@usa.redcross.org along with a cover letter indicating the position of interest.  We are an Equal Opportunity Employer Committed to Diversity M/F/D/V.

Thank You,

Amy M. Merritt

Talent Acquisition Specialist

Connecticut & Northeastern Pennsylvania Regions

American Red Cross
Connecticut Blood Services

209 Farmington Avenue

Farmington CT 06032

860-284-7056(p)

860-678-2767(f)

800-732-4371 ext.7056

merrittam@usa.redcross.org

Website for CT:  www.bloodct.org

Website for NEPA:  www.nepagivelife.org
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re:                  Catholic Social Services – Receptionist Job Opening

Please post the attached Job Posting to get the word out into the Hispanic Community. 

The announcement is in both English and Spanish.  All inquiries are to me directed to:

Msgr. Joseph P. Kelly, M.S.W., V.E.

Catholic Social Services

33 East Northampton Street

Wilkes-Barre, PA  18701

Email: jpkel@csswb.org

PLEASE POST: Inter Agency Notice of Position Opening, Wilkes Barre Office

CATHOLIC SOCIAL SERVICES
33 EAST NORTHAMPTON STREET
WILKES BARRE, PA  18701

Receptionist

Position Description:

Full time receptionist position available; Monday through Friday, 8:45am to 5:00pm.  Duties include, but are not limited to, answering and directing calls on a multi-line system; receiving and distributing faxes and mail; greeting and assisting clients; some computer work and filing.  This position is open immediately. 

Job Requirements:

A high school diploma is required; experience in secretarial sciences is preferred. 

Must be Bi-lingual English/Spanish

Catholic Social Services is an Equal Opportunity Employer. 

Starting Salary:  $18,200

DIRECT ALL INQUIRIES TO: Msgr. Joseph P. Kelly, M.S.W., V.E.
 Catholic Social Services
33 East Northampton Street
Wilkes Barre, PA  18701
E-Mail:  jpkel@csswb.org
      Fax:   (570) 829-7781

POSICION ABIERTA

Catholic Social Services
33 East Northampton Street
Wilkes Barre, PA 18701

Recepcionista

Descripción del empleo:

Posición de tiempo completo como recepcionista, Lunes a Viernes de 8:45 a.m. hasta las 5:00 p.m. El trabajo incluye pero no esta limitado a responder y dirigir las llamadas telefónicas desde una central multilínea; recibir y distribuir faxes y correo; recibir y asistir a los clientes; se requiere conocimiento de computación y archivo. Esta posición esta inmediatamente disponible.

Requisitos para el empleo:

Diploma de secundaria y preferible alguna experiencia en secretariado.

Debe ser bilingüe: Inglés/Español

Catholic Social Services es un Empleador de Oportunidades para todos.

Salario al empezar:       $18,200

MAYOR INFORMACION:           Monseñor Joseph P. Kelly, M.S.W., V.E.
Catholic Social Services
33 East Northampton Street
Wilkes Barre, PA 18701
Email: jpkel@csswb.org

Fax: 570-829-7781 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER

Full-Time Position

Job Description: Manage public relations and communications for the Northeastern PA Region to enhance public awareness of the need 

for blood donations and to achieve annual collections goals for both regular and specialized donations.  

With direction from regional CEO and divisional office, establish strategic direction for communication and public relations efforts,

 develop short and long term plans, cultivate external print and electronic media sources to enhance American Red Cross image in the region.

Job Requirements:  Applicants must have a Bachelor’s degree in public relations, communications or related field, or equivalent.  

Master’s degree preferred.  Minimum five years of progressively responsible public relations or communications management 

experience is required. Exceptional written and verbal communication skills are extremely important.   

Excellent organizational skills and the ability to handle multiple priorities effectively, 

assimilate information quickly, analyze problems and implement appropriate solutions are required.  

Ability to work independently while developing strong working relationships among peers and 

subordinates is required.  Exceptional interpersonal skills to deal with all levels of staff, media, 

volunteers, donors and public are a must.   

This position requires excellent computer skills; Proficiency in Microsoft applications and 

database experience required.  Proficiency with standard desktop publishing 

Interested parties should forward a resume in Microsoft Word format to:

 bloodhr@usa.redcross.org along with a cover letter indicating the position of interest.  

We are an Equal Opportunity Employer Committed to Diversity M/F/D/V.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
International Inside Sales Rep Bilingual Spanish/English
 

International Inside Sales Rep Bilingual Spanish/English

Koehler-Bright Star Inc., a manufacturer of portable lighting products for hazardous locations,
is currently seeking a full time International Inside Sales Rep.

The successful candidate will have proven experience in prospecting, managing accounts & making domestic
and international direct telephone sales calls.

A minimum of 3 years successful inside sales experience is required.

Fluency in Spanish required.

Position is located in Wilkes-Barre, PA.

Competitive salary and full benefit package including 401(k). 
No relocation.
Send resume and salary history to:
Koehler Bright Star, Inc.
Attn:  H.R. Dept
380 Stewart Road
Wilkes-Barre, PA  18706
hr@kbs-inc.net .
EOE

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My dear praying friends:
I forward this email to all of you with great gladness because with all of us praying, the Lord is sure to hear us.    Please remember Steve Akimoto in your prayers.  Margaret and I grew up together and we lived right next door to each other on Guam.  We were so close; we are like sisters.  Steve is her nephew and is afflicted with small cell carcinoma the type of cancer similar to the one that afflicted my mother 2 years ago; a very aggressive one. I have witnessed my mother with this type of cancer and just broke my heart to see her suffering as I sat beside her, when I went home to take care of her the year 2006.  All procedures and treatments given to Steve, there will sure to be some side affects so let us remember to pray  that God will protect his body with His love and compassion , that Steve may be able to endure the discomforts.  If you may, please pass this prayer request to friends and families. 

***

Dear Friends in Peace and Justice:  

Andy’s father, Andrew Daniel Petonak, passed away at his home this Sunday.   

We are saddened by this loss, our thoughts, prayers, and deepest condolences are with Andy and his family. 

Personally, I rejoice in the blessed memory of Andy’s father.  I consider him a fortunate man; he has gifted us with a legacy of which we can all be proud – this gift is Andy. 

Andrew Daniel Petonak, may he rest in peace, he must have been a lovely man.  He continues to touch so many lives with the joy and generosity of his son. 

On behalf of the Peace and Justice Center, I offer our deepest sympathy. 

In peace, 

rod 

Thanks for keeping our peace center family informed. Prayer is what we can do best. Terri 

***  

[From Elly Miller] 

Please keep Lea Scala in your thoughts and prayers, she has taken a bad fall and will take some time to regain her full strength and full health.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Morris, last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.’  

The other man, Morris, said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’

The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?  You know… The one that’s red and has thorns.’

‘Do you mean a rose?’

‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man.

He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, …

‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’

Rose and her husband both their nineties are having problems remembering things.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.  ‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ he asks.

‘Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?’

‘Sure.’

‘Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?’ she asks..

‘No, I can remember it.’

‘Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too.

Maybe you should write it down, so’s not to forget it?’

He says, ‘I can remember that.

You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.’

‘I’d also like whipped cream.

I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it down?’ she asks. 

Irritated, he says, ‘I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it!

Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream –

I got it, for goodness sake!’

 Then he toddles into the kitchen.  

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment.

 ’Where’s my toast?

 Rose’s husband was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid.  It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.’

‘Twelve thirty.’

Rose’s neighbor, Morris, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’

Morris replied, ‘Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”

The doctor said, ‘I didn’t say that.

I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’
 Rose’s husband man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool …  

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’

 ’No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’

Click on the link below for a fun interactive visit to President Palin’s Oval Office.

SNL vice presidential debate sketch here.

http://palinaspresident.us/

(Thanks to Silvia and Bill)

 

–Garrison Spik. Washington, D.C. Contest winner, 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest .

 

*******************************************************************

 

This is how we lovingly see our home!

*******************************************************************

 

Above is how the buyer sees our home!

This is how your lender sees your home.

 

                                    

This is how the appraiser views our home …

 

Of course, this is what the tax assessor sees!

 ************************************************************************************************

 

 

---

Subject: Looming Immigration Crisis
 
From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada
 
A flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O’Reilly.
 
Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
 
I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,’ said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota.
 
The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. ‘He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
 
When I said I didn’t have any, he left. Didn’t even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?’
 
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. ‘Not real effective,’ he said. ‘The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn’t give milk.’
 
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
 
‘A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,’ an Ontario border patrolman said. ‘I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. ‘They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.’
 
When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture.
 
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the ’50s.
 
‘If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,’ an official said.
 
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
 
‘I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,’ an Ottawa resident said. ‘How many art-history and English majors does one country need?’
 

 

---

 

 As this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this at the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”

Her response: “Because we always finish our prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”

My very good friend Larry invites us to go on a mini-virtual tour of Kansas via narrowlarry.com

All are welcome!

Click here for a virtual road trip though Kansas!